Fuel Your Legacy

Episode 183: Nathan Simmonds, Connecting to your purpose.

Episode Summary

Nathan’s sole purpose is to challenge people’s thinking so they can become more incredible than yesterday. He helps leaders and entrepreneurs cut through the noise of modern life, harness their overwhelm and create clarity in the chaos.

Episode Notes

This weeks guest is Nathan Simmonds. Nathan’s sole purpose is to challenge people’s thinking so they can become more incredible than yesterday. He helps leaders and entrepreneurs cut through the noise of modern life, harness their overwhelm and create clarity in the chaos. Nathan’s does this by focusing his energy to help others articulate their purpose, create deeply compelling goals and help them define an incredible legacy through continuous improvement of mind, action and outcome. With over 20-years of Leadership experience combining a wealth of life experience from world travels, martial arts, environmental studies, bullying in school and the work place, health and well-being from literally the bloody end of the blade he shares these in his work as a Leadership coach, consultant and trainer and also soon to-be author. All of this dedication and determination shows how absolutely relentless he is in helping others deliver the impact they’re designed to in the pursuit of their highest potential.

Links: https://www.nathansimmondscoaching.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/HowToFindFulfilment https://www.linkedin.com/in/nathan-simmonds-leadership-coach-and-trainer/

Welcome back to the fuel your legacy podcast. Each week, we expose the faulty foundational mindsets of the past and rebuild the newer, stronger foundation essential in creating your meaningful legacy. We've got a lot of work to do. So let's get started.

As much as you like this podcast, I'm certain that you're going to love the book that I just released on Amazon if you will, your legacy, the nine pillars to build a meaningful legacy. I wrote this to share with you the experiences that I had while I was identifying my identity, how I began to create my meaningful legacy and how you can create yours. You're going to find this book on kindle amazon and as always on my website, Sam knickerbocker.com.

Welcome back to the fuel your legacy podcast and bringing the best in the industry's and I have got on this kick lately, of bringing people to you who are from either Australia, South Africa, or the UK. So it's up to you to kind of determine who and where they're from. Unless they tell you it's kind of a game, or you look at their hands and look at their bio, right? Because if you don't know the intricacies of their accents, then you'll just never know. But yeah, so today we're going to have Nate theremins on and he is a leadership coach, trainer consultant soon to be an author. And just absolutely incredible an individual dedicated to others, really connecting to their purpose. And that's why one of the reasons why I wanted to have them on here is to focus on how are you as an individual connecting to your purpose, your legacy, and then what are you doing to design your life around your legacy rather than making your life fit around your day job or your work? So and that's what we're going to talk about here and I'm just super excited to be able to have this conversation And if you don't mind, go ahead and give us a little bit of backstory as far as where you came from how you grew up, and why you're so passionate about what you're right now,

Samuel, thank you, John, I was so excited having the conversation with you, because I feel your legacy just resonated so strongly with me. And I'm happy to be here to share some of this content. The story for me is, I would say, pretty much an average life. You know, the big getting part was my parents. My parents lived in austere times. I grew up through the 80s went to school in the 90s. My parents are both kinds of working middle-class people. My father was a police officer. And I was a very active child and my dad showed us how to do lots of different things kind of, you know, building things, how to put shelves up how to paint and all these sorts of things. And he taught us you know, how to get hands-on with life. But what I found was, as I started to grow up. I went to secondary school high school for you guys. And that's where things started to fall for me because that active child that learned through seeing and doing fell short and it broke me the system broke me through a system of repeat or, you know, sit and repeat to get your qualifications. And that's where everything started to shift for me. So, I felt as I was in high school, secondary school, that I had a purpose, but I didn't know what it was. I didn't know how to express it clearly. So all those that pent up frustration of being a young teenager being in an environment that didn't fit me or being asked to live up to someone else's expectation, all those frustrations erupted into no toxic behaviors. When I was around 1314 I started to be bullied by a group of boys older boys from another school. Not knowing what to do that with those emotions what to do with that pain. I then learned that you have to hurt other people to compensate. Later on, more recently I heard a quote from I think is Dr. Sandra Wilson. hurt people hurt people. And that's what I was doing. But I never dealt with the problem. As I then progressed out of school went into work. My father was always asking me what you're going to do what you're going to be. He wasn't a coach. He wasn't he was a police officer. That and that was the extent of his questioning what you're going to do what you're going to be trying to push me to think further, but not giving me any more depth of thought around that. And then that frustration, you know, I don't know what I want to be. He was asking this question for about 14 1516 I didn't know what I wanted to be. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I just knew I had a purpose. I just didn't know how to tap into it, what it would what I would amount so I went through the motions and I Listen to some of your previous guests about leadership and the leaders in their environment. And that's what I started doing. I started getting into management roles at 19 years old, I'd look for pay rises, I've moved to another company, I try and develop myself. I'm always looking for that certainty and security that my parents both wanted so desperately for me to have my brother to have, that they didn't have. And when they were growing up, when I bought their first house, at one point, their mortgages jumped in at 20% an incredible, incredibly hard times. And they wanted us to have the best because no parent in their right mind wants to feel good to be equal to or less than them. And I went to see you succeed, and I wanted to see us have that security, work hard, retire and be comfortable. But that never felt right to me. And there was always this internal friction. But I didn't have director so the bullying I never dealt with going into work. And two jobs that just didn't feel quite right. I didn't kind of A-line to my ethics. These emotions were bottled up and trapped inside. And then eventually what happened was the age of 24. I can only describe and tell you it had you seen me you would have done to one or two things, you would have either pulled him away in absolute disgust of what you were seeing because of the mess or was or you would have called me an ambulance because you knew that I'd overdosed on recreational drugs. All these pent up frustrations over the years from going to school, being made to fit in or you know, is feeling like I was forced to fit in doing jobs that never felt quite right and never knowing who I was never feeling comfortable in my skin because there was more for me to give. came to that cataclysmic moment of me lying on a sofa in that state, standing on the edge of a metaphorical precipice, precipice looking over the edge and having to make a decision what I was gonna do with my life.

And again, that sense of purpose came up. I can either continue down this road, I'll either be dead or in prison. Or I can step back and I can go and do something about this. And that was the choice of my life gives you repeated lessons, and some other parts their story and I step back from this a few weeks later, deciding to stop doing those sorts of things then. Six weeks later, I bumped into the lady that is now my wife. I made some serious decisions and moved to Amsterdam, where she was she's English, but she had moved there already or was planning to move there. So I wind up living with her for four years in Amsterdam. And I took all those leadership skills that I developed and taken on board and actually and it sounds pretty salubrious it was a great job at the time ended up managing the customer services for time and Fortune magazine and National Geographic for the European country. the base here in here in Europe and Asia before I think the international database, not the American clients so did that for a few months while it's here cutting my teeth as a leader in a larger business

then returned home

wasn't completely sure that what I was doing again with my Anna and myself returned not yet married, making a decision we wanted to start a family we wanted to be near our family so that we could have the build the relationships between grandparents and grandchildren today. They're going to get lost incorporate. I got lost in kind of the expectations. And I went it was getting doing jobs for that security for Okay, the structure that again, it didn't feel right. I was working in the finance sector, frontline banks, became a bank manager and then moving into car insurance. And there are very few financial businesses out there without actually about the people. It remains to be about the numbers. Again, these ethics and these principles just didn't fit me. And his frustration started to bring to the surface and I was getting into arguments with my leaders because I didn't agree with what they were saying with me saying to me, I then encountered bullying, workplace bullying, because of the bullying that I never dealt with as a child at school. Just came back to rear its head again, in a work environment.

And I was looking around the office

lamenting call him vocally at times about the situation about the lack of leadership about the lack of skills about the lack of support that people were supposed to be getting. Now they were saying great things, but the action you know, the audio and the video didn't, didn't sync up. And eventually got to a point where I can either sit here pointing my finger at everybody else or I can start pointing my finger where I want to go and where I want to take people phrase I heard a couple of years ago. Complaining is the glue that keeps you stuck to your circumstances. retire you're doing it all the time that you're complaining you cannot activate solution or thinking you cannot come up with new ideas while you're busy pointing your finger at other people and saying that they're the problem. Rather than saying, you know what, I've got something I can do this. The next lesson that came up was is the thing that you lack is the thing that you're meant to give. And at that point, there was a level of friction a level of tension came up. The level of intention came up in my daughter was about to arrive around 3536 years old, I stumbled across Sana cynic and the Golden Circle, how great leaders inspire action. all at the same time dojo about to arrive within 24 hours Simon sitting on what is my purpose? Here is a model framework like a building soon from the It's been focused drive to understand my purpose, which I now have absolute clarity on, help other people understand and articulate their purpose as well. Inside that, I've gone and got my qualifications in leadership coaching, started to deliver leadership content to individuals and help them upgrade their skills. And then get deep on what I bring and how I bring it. So the party and your title around fuel your legacy, and came up with these three pillars of the purpose, the goals, and the legacy. So the purpose is you at your genetic best is what you're born with. There is something about you that you are born with. It is hardwired into your genetics at the moment of conception, and you bring that in every single activity, whether you realize it or not. So your purpose is never unknown. is either unclear.

I'm focused or unstructured.

When we Get into that when you go back and do the analytics and say, Okay, well, what did I do in this situation or this situation, you will always find a core behavior and action that you always take. And what's the phrase, you know, you never rise to the expectation, you always fall back to the level of training.

Regardless of what happens, whether it's good or bad,

you'll fall back to that, that core principle of who you are, and you will bring that every single time. So when you go back and do the analytics, and you get really clear on it, and you get really focused with it, and you get really structured with it, you can then implement that in every single conversation going forward, every single relationship, every single project, who am I, when I'm at my best and my genetic best, who am I bring into this conversation? Okay, what am I going to put into this conversation? To start to create, you know, you start to create the future. So that's the purpose I and then what we do is we start to build go that are designed from purpose because your goals are a physical manifestation of you at your fundamental best. Big, incredible, staggering, or, you know, or inspiring goals. The biggest possible manifestation of you your best, having a huge impact on civilization as a whole. And then the legacy part is the daily activity, the ripple effect, the seven generations before you that you're going to impact through the work that you're doing, and living at your fullest potential and extracting the gold and the wisdom and the pose of lessons and value in the people that you meet on a daily basis on the failures that you have and how you rejoice in them. And how you bring that back full circle, that living in that purpose, creating the goals, and then working on that daily to feel your legacy.

And that's concepts have come up with

Why did this

for me, the part that really kind of started to lock this into basically is understanding these four stages of work. The four stages of work when you bring this to life is the work that you're taught to do the work that you're told to do, meaningful work and purposeful work. So when I reflected on my life, I saw these four stages. Why stage one is the word that you're taught to do. This is what school is doing for us. It's teaching us to go to work is an outdated factory model to create factory workers post-Industrial Revolution. Except for the concept though the workspace we live in now is more intellectual, more creative. Not so much work-oriented, as AI comes in. These roles and responsibilities are going to know massively doing this. The parents on it won't be the US doing it. So what you're teaching us to do is turn up on time Do is retold and live up to someone else's expectation. Then when someone starts asking your question like my wonderful father did, we're going to do what you're gonna be that frustration starts to kick in. Okay, maybe there's more than this, maybe there's something outside of this box. That concept of I has a purpose. There's something bigger than me there's something bigger I need to be given was already there. He was feeling it with these core questions. So around about 15. For me, my mindset shifted to the work that you're told to do. My question in any of my leadership development code, or events, what I'm talking about feedback or coaching, who likes being told what to do?

No one.

When we have the word that we're told to do, what happens is we have you know, symptoms that come up frustrations, agitation, conversations, boy, like, why because people can't see what you can see. You can't see what they can see. And the connections just start to break down. Why because you're always right. straightened and always angry. Then when you learn the fresh questions as in leadership development coaching skill, someone gets a mentor comes to you and starts asking you questions, you can then shift from the work that you're told to do to meaningful work. And for me, there was a difference between meaningful and purposeful. meaningful is full of meaning to you as an individual. You can spend time doing it all day you will find excuses to do it. But there's a level of selfishness that sits inside it is not about someone else. Yes, you're good at what you do. Yes, you enjoy it. And yes, you can lose yourself in it for hours on end, and it makes you happy and you can go home happy that is still only about you. We then have to take it up a level and this is where it comes back to that purpose base. purposeful work is where we need to be aiming ourselves. the purpose of work is full of meaning to me, that is full of purpose to the other person. I'm doing it as a servant. Leader. Now I want to talk to people about leadership and they go there a team leader or operational leader, whatever, what comes first, the team, the operation, you know, your team does not work for you, you work for your team, you are an enabler for them to be the best possible versions of themselves to clear any obstacle so they can go and deliver exceptional work and deliver exceptional results for themselves. So that in return, you get something out of the back of it as a side effect, you are successful because they are successful, not the other way around. And if you don't get this concept, right, as a leader, you want to have a team very long. And if you haven't got a team, you've got no one to lead. This is where it comes in with a legacy that has what am I given to these people, my work family who I work for these people so that they can go and do their version of incredible so when we move into purpose will work it's about the other person is about contribution, it's about giving

It's about elevating others.

For me, this is the stuff that I now share from these experiences of being bullied of reckless, toxic behaviors. I didn't know what to do with because of my frustrations and lead those attempting to keep on things, the way that I thought about things before. Before I took that kind of twist on the viewpoint, and looked at it from a different angle and got that new concept of this is what I can be doing. This is what I can be giving. This is how I can help other people. And now from there, I've gone from the corporate environment, I've moved out of a full-time job. And I've now moved into a part-time job, which pays me more than my full-time job. doing what I love doing which is delivering leadership content to people going into other organizations and teaching their leaders how to be more credible yesterday so they can get better results for their people. So when you talk about helping other individuals move out of their roles that are out of their expectations and obligations, that contractual confinement that we often feel in the corporate life, there is a way through it. And part of that is about tapping into your purpose, understanding who you are the fundamental best. Working out the things that you enjoy doing the things that excite you. And then ratchet ratcheting them up to talk about gap analysis, you know, the mark itself between one and 10 one being rubbish 10 being great on the certain things will find the things that you're a 10 out of 10 out on your skillset. And then write them on a level of excitement of Are you a 10 out of 10 on excitement and if you can make those things that are 10 out of 10 make them a 12 out of 10 make yourself a specialist make yourself an expert make yourself sought after because you are so awesome that you cannot be ignored. And people will pay you incredibly large amounts of money for fewer hours so that you can spend more time building high-quality relationships with the individuals that are important to you. So there are ways through when you tap into that purposeful work and start giving it to people you will become more valuable and you will raise your status in the arena. And more people will also be will look to lift you so that you can go and do great to work in that space.

Yeah, I love that. So, I mean, there's so much there I'm not going to be able to go back and cover all of it but I do want to tear into some of these things. And when I say tear, it's an exciting thing, not a bad thing but

good there's

there's so many different angles that we could take this show with your history and where you've been because what's funny is you can research people you can look at them on their social media, their stuff like that, and there are certain stories you just don't ever hear until you talk one on one. And, and so I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for being able to share some of these things and pull them out. We actually are maybe surprisingly similar in the area of and I would, I would not just say, you and I, but a lot of the people that I have interviewed, and we have a level of where we felt like or we experienced a situation in our younger years of bullying, of where we were kind of bullied or cornered or forced into a certain perspective that we didn't agree with, or feel in alignment to, and that happens for various reasons. It's always an interesting thing. There's a story of Thomas Edison.

He

got sent home from school with a note for his mom. And in the note, it said Your son is too dumb to be in our class and to be taken to a specialty school or something or to taught at home. And when his mom read that, rather than telling him that that's what the note said, she said, I look, you are just too smart for the teachers and everybody at school. So we're going to teach you at home. Right and so it's all about framing and perspective. And when it comes to that, but it does happen often where we feel forced into something where we don't feel we don't feel fulfilled. And then, as a result, we have this almost dimming of our purpose or our true light. And for Nathan, he mentioned that it went into drugs went into different areas to kind of numb the pain, or lack of fulfillment. And that's so it's just such a fascinating thing that I think of everybody listening to this took a hard look at themselves and said, what, what am I using to numb the pain of lack of fulfillment? That could be Netflix, it could be food, it could be trapped I mean it could be so many different things it could be a relationship to numb the pain of not fulfilling your dreams or not fulfilling your full extent of your being through creation. And there's there are so many different areas that you might be using right now to numb the pain of your life or numb the pain of your lack of fulfillment. And it's so crucial to really identify what that is and not only identify with how you're numbing it, but then go and identify what aligns with me. Do you remember at the beginning of his when he was saying everything was core values, right like it didn't align with who I was didn't feel right? My stomach is always in knots. I wasn't quite right doesn't mean it wasn't being successful. You can have lots of money you can be very financially successful and not fulfilled. Hmm. How many of the people that you're coaching right now, Nathan do you think are in that position where it's not that they're not successful by working standards, but they just flat out aren't fulfilled in what they're doing.

I think there's a lot of things that come out of the schooling situation and it's not school bashing, it's reporting is a situation. It breeds a level of uniformity and conformity. When we go into the corporate space, you're looking around and probably 98% of the people are doing the same thing. And I'd say probably 100% of the people of that 98 % sitting there in their heads at some point thinking, is it just me am I just the problem is this there must be more than this. There must be more to this to this life. It can't just be this but some of them to different varying levels and different levels are holding that down or not responding or not answering that call. Because as I said, you know your purpose is always in this you know whether it's a whisper, it's a screaming Banshee, demanding You to take action on it demanding that you do that. So when people come to me for coaching is because they are frustrated because they have hit that kind of glass ceiling in their head. Because someone that they feel frustrated that other people aren't seeing that in them. I haven't got a leader above them that can support them in a way to help them develop up. So when they come to speak to me is because they want clear-talking, they want clear words that are going to help them get to get to where they need to be in their headspace so they can then take the action and go to the job interview or rewrite the resume or redesign the goal according to them. Rather than living up to someone else's expectation rather than staying quiet, because maybe they think the other kids in the classroom might make fun of them for having big goals. Maybe and it can be no we Many people are wandering around and it's still actually just a trap child. They are still the child they were when they were 1314 years old being picked on in the playground somewhere, or behaving in that way. But actually, they're in the body of a 45-year-old.

Yeah, absolutely. I think that's what's interesting about what you had mentioned about the bullying if you don't take care of those, those issues that you experienced when you're younger, especially the highly emotional experiences, they have a way of resurfacing in the future. And some people think, man, this is so terrible. Why is this happening again? For me, I tend to look at life as an opportunity to learn and grow. And I'm grateful that if I didn't learn a lesson, the first time that it's going to resurface in my life and another area so that I can learn that lesson. Right? It would be a shame if the every time you fail something that you only get to try that once you only get to try one area of personal development once at once and if you fail to develop yourself that one time, then you don't ever get the opportunity to change that in your life again, that would be really unfortunate. So I'm so grateful in my life, that these issues, these things that do offend us they do resurface in our lives so that we can have an opportunity to understand how to move past them.

So the way that I look at it is I look at life as a computer game. Now if you bought a computer game and the first level was so ridiculously hard that you could not get past that. And then the gun got easier as the game progressed, how many copies of that game would get sold? Not many. So your life challenges the things that you know your traumatic experiences those certain events occur with those that gratitude that helps you to learn from it is not about making life easier, is about making sure you do learn the lesson so that you can move forward with it faster because like the computer game When you're looking at certain, certain strategic strategy games or whatever, when you're playing them, when that character dies, it goes back. It responds to the game. And in different ways you have, you still have the same challenge, but you have it from a different angle. And this is this analogy is in the sense of, okay, well, actually, I didn't learn this lesson in this relationship with his partner. But I'm going to go and have the same relationship with a different partner. And that's just life-giving you back this situation, you haven't learned the lesson that you haven't learned yet. So you actually can learn from it, and then move it forward. Then that came back into the thinking that if people are just sitting at work, just going through the motions, what do they complain about on a daily basis, when you're looking in those corporate spaces, they go and complain about the same thing over and over and over and over again, they never go and look for the solution. Then talk about the numbing element that you talked about because energy doesn't disappear. It just gets redirected. How do we redirect it? smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol working for the weekend. Now socially and there are socially acceptable and unacceptable ways of doing this drinking too much coffee socially acceptable. Now in the modern age sitting on the toilet, checking social media is socially acceptable. Why? Because you're being social. So when you these are the clear indicators that there is a problem now had two incidents that happened in the last kind of six months. I went to push the cubicle door in a men's toilets open. The guy hadn't locked the toilet door. Thankfully, for me, he was sitting on top of the toilet lid still with his trousers up checking social media. He forgot to lock the door. So he wasn't even using the toilet. He was hiding in the toilet checking in social media. That tells me there's a problem. Yeah, that's a flag. got to a point though, where I'll be sitting in my cubicle using a toilet and the person next to me doesn't even turn the volume down on their phones. When the video comes up on Facebook now, they're not even hiding it. So there are all these little flags going up, but it's socially acceptable to do this. Why? Because everybody else is doing it yet that lower conformity kicks in. But actually, no one's picking up. Okay? What's the reason this person wants to go and hide from his work and sit on the toilet and check his Instagram? One because he hasn't got a purpose because he's not engaged with what he's doing because not aligned to his value in what he's designed to bring from the inside out. Yeah,

I completely agree with that. In fact, one of the speeches that I would give to a corporate and a more corporate setting to managers or business owners, maybe at a rope, rotary club or something, is about redefining the SMART goals and, and turning them into something exciting and so I actually, when I give that speech, I started by talking about having a

like a sexual affair.

If you're married and you're having sexual affair, right, how terrible is that? How? Why is this happening? What are the symptoms of this? And then I relate that to any company, individual manager, business owner, who has not made their vision purpose. I mean, I love what you said their purpose, their goals, and their legacy. If they haven't put that in a way that's so sexy that it's holding somebody else's attention, then their employees are cheating on them. If they haven't made their that goal so massive that it demands attention. It demands focus, it demands these things, then they're not getting there. And then is it remarkable like well, first is audacious that isn't creating separation. Are you with what you're doing? I Tesla, I don't know if you saw over the last few months, but Tesla's new truck that's coming out.

I'm assuming you

love Google it right if you haven't seen it, but it's a funny looking truck, right, but it's going to create a separate Same thing, right? Putting a Tesla car circle orbiting the planet for no other reason it's creating. It's an audacious move. That's creating separation from the people who like Tesla and the people who don't like Tesla. And he's doing something remarkable so that other people are going to talk about it. And then lastly, is transparency. Are you willing to tell everybody what your goals are to hold you accountable, tell the world about them shouting from the rooftops? And if you're not doing that, and then your people are cheating on you. And they could, I've never really thought of it this way. But now this, this is, I'm going to have to add this into my speech, but they aren't just cheating on you with their dreams. There's probably a small percentage of people cheating on you with their dreams. Probably most people are cheating on you with sedation, which with social media, drugs, alcohol, sex, whatever porn, whatever it is. They're sedating themselves rather than getting excited and doing and being part of a contribution or Being part of a movement. So that's fascinating to think about it that way. And I am grateful for

that. That comment, you sent me about Brian and a couple of different directions that he said SMART goals you said about this. So the important thing for me when you get to those goals is understanding that your goals have to be magnetic. They have to have a polar bear as a charge to them. So when you look at lightning coming down from the sky, they're not random strikes. That is the planet it sends up an electrical charge itself that pulls the lightning to that point. And your goals have to be the same they have to energize you they have to move but when you say them, now when I sit in my goal and I visualize that thing, there are times that I break down and cry because it just fills me with so much joy. And not many people have that experience. What they have is here's someone else's agenda. Here's someone else's go Can you help me climb the mountain. And then when you get to the top of that mountain, you're like, well, what was that all about? It's not my mountain. So, you want to as a leader and an as an employee, okay, the organization's gonna have it's got great, fantastic. Does my goal align with the goal of the business? by helping the business? Does it help me achieve my goal? Therefore, I'm not giving up on my goal, we're working in conjunction and parallel to each other. And at the right time when I need to leave because I achieve, I know it goes separate. It's an amicable agreement and we go into different directions rather than the mental health challenges that go with that all the toxic behaviors or the frustrations that then turn into kind of people getting fired. Gotta have that clarity as an individual. The words you use SMART goals. I learned this a few years ago, and I shared it with people now. And I teach people to have SMART objectives, not smart goals. And the difference is when you the moment you make you are smart in the way that I understand it is? Because it was it is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound. That's your normal SMART goal. But the moment you're saying is real, it already exists. There is no tension there is no challenge to go and make that thing happen because it's already in your realm of possibility. Exactly. Because it's not about achieving the goal is about the person that you have to become to make the goal a reality. If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you. And I'm going to you know, there are several cliches in there that we see on multiple means, but it's so true. So the moment that you made you go smart, and what you do is you make them small, mediocre, average, repetitive and time-wasting.

Hmm, that's a new one.

So then when we take that back, and we go, Okay, how big Cisco and people are going to give you a hard time people they're going to point at you people are going to say, Who the hell do you think you are for doing what they're going to laugh at you. And as that other Main says, you know, you keep doing it, and then you get so good at it, that they want to come and work for you to make it happen. So my goal right now and I came up with this goal three years ago, when I started to get this real clarity is to positively and successfully influence the growth and development of over 100 million people through my one to one coaching, which includes training so that they are connected to a deeper sense of purpose of creating compelling goals, connecting to the people around them and creating a positive legacy time and time again. that excites up. I believe that this part is, you know, what they say to people is, don't tell everybody you'll go, well don't tell anybody who goes and I say to people, tell the right people who go because I've been people that I've told and I've looked them and I've literally said Who the f do you think you are? So if you think you can impact 100 million people. You know what I'm an average middle-aged man. As decided to go and do extraordinary things to help 100 million people so they can become more incredible than yesterday. And if a couple more people on this planet make decisions like that, and even if I fall short of 100 million people only get to 50 million. will the world be a better place? If I died tomorrow and only got to one person? would the world be a better place? Yes. Because I was striving for a goal. There's no part of that legacy. I'm chasing my potential, not just chasing my passion.

Yeah, absolutely. So

we're along the lines of that, how do you or tell me the story of the biggest naysayer in your life, and how you learn to silence them in your mind and just go for what you want it to do? Wow.

And you know what it's been a lot of them and but that becomes comes from the education of when I was a child and not for my parents but for the school from the people that I spent. my so-called friends when I was going through these toxic behaviors in my late teens. I remember once, this is one of the best stories. He said. I said I'm gonna write a book on my life. I was 19. I was like, yeah, follow my provider. And he says to me, it's not interesting. Your life is pretty boring. No one's going to read it.

So I never wrote the book.

Won't not a lot of people know yet about me. And they will do in future books that I've written to the publisher is I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease when I was nine years old. And I was hospitalized for nearly a year. I had multiple operations. We didn't have Google then. So you couldn't do your Google search to find out keywords for it. I had my mom we had a local health food shop with the information that my mom got from that health food shop and the treatments that we went through our keyword Chrome's now there are still 99% of the doctors on this world on this planet. Still saying that crimes are not cured. Now had written that story at the age of 2021 20 years ago, how many people would high have potentially held to overcome that debilitating disease that they believe they're stuck with? Because the doctor tells me all right. But it wasn't until Crikey three years ago that I made the decision. There's some stuff in there that I'm learning. There's some stuff that I'm learning about leadership, about approaches to life, about the ways that I set my goals about the stuff that I've taught other people to see them succeed. You know what I need to put this in a paper now I need to type this stuff down. I need to get lyrical. type this out, find a format to share it and just share this stuff with people. Because even it like I said, even if we got to one person and it fundamentally changes that person's life, that one person has my life is worth living, yes, but to not do it and to keep it inside me. You know, and now I'm seeing more of that transition in my thinking over the last 3458 years, I'm now bringing more of this content out and getting more out of my way, was that voice of the critic in my head isn't my voice. It's all the people that told me not to publish the book. But I'm saying the sort of people that told me Oh, you'll never amount to anything. It's all the people that thought, you know, the teachers that I perceive thought that I wouldn't Excel when I left school. But as we know, from the Roosevelt speech, I think it is now is the voice of the critic. But we also know that the voice of the critic is standing up or sitting out in the benches. He's not in the arena. I am in the arena, you people that are listening to this area in the arena, the people that are coming, you come they're telling you what they can't do based on their map of the world.

Yeah, that's exactly. And I think that's probably for me, one of the biggest lessons that I've had to learn over my life is just keeping in perspective why somebody would Choose to squash somebody else's dream and the same. And on the same token, why would I, as an individual choose to squash somebody else's dream not just just flippantly or not thinking about it, why is that something that I feel I should be doing or even giving input on all I should do ever is potentially give some guidance of how they could better do it. But if I don't have a solution that could potentially help them succeed better, faster, quicker on a bigger scale than I should probably just keep my mouth shut. And I've had to learn that gradually over time, and it's been difficult because we all think we know what we're talking about. And even though it hasn't always happened to be that way. So I'm curious for you, what do you like is one of your if you were to focus on like one specific habit, mindset or behavior that you've used to create your meaningful legacy, what would that be and then how could we adopted into our lives

well,

but I've got a few that dropped into my head. But the one I want to go back to is the goal-setting piece. And this a mentor of mine taught me this two years ago, three years ago. And even so, and this was in a free webinar, his name is Peter sage. And one of the things he taught me was if you know how to achieve your goal when you set it is too small. And in doing so, you're setting it from a place of fear, you're setting it from inside your comfort zone. So every time that you look at your goal, or you're reading your goal out, ask the question. If this conversation were to stop right now with me with you with whoever would I know how to achieve my goal? And if you come up with two or three actions, I forget an interview or do a bit of that you're not asked which if your goal is too small, double it, triple it, make it bigger, whatever it is you need to do to create that level of tension that's going to push you outside of the outside of your comfort, and we don't go to the gym of life to lift lighter weights, we go out there to pump heavier weights, you know, you start at five, you can go to 10. And then you go to your 20 plates to build the right muscles to do what you need to do. And it's the same with our goals. So one of the habits that helps build the thinking, do you want to achieve this goal? Yes, no, the answer is yes. Make it bigger. How many people do is in Do I need to impact to create that and start looking at those numbers start to get to that point where does feel uncomfortable? And then when you reach your goal out for the first time and you stutter when you say it? Or you start to question yourself, will tell you don't start to question yourself. The voice of the critic that you've learned to listen to in your head starts to question you. That's when you know you're in the right ballpark of the goal that you need to be playing into. Because you have that discomfort. You have that irritation. That you can then use as the energy to propel you forward to create the impact that you're designed to create a visceral level.

I like that like just asking yourself when like, it's not big enough and tell the voices in my head start to question it. And then at that point, that's on the right track. Not that I think that's a huge, a fantastic question to ask yourself because I've, I've dealt with the question of like, if I know how to do it, then it's not big enough. And I've kind of stopped there, but I don't think I've gone personally with my goals to the point where it's like, Okay, everybody in my life is questioning whether that's just possible. I don't think I've set any goals that are that big. All the goals are. I have no idea how to accomplish them. But I know they're conceivable because I know other people have accomplished them by sub zero idea how I'm going to accomplish them. But that's different. then something that's such a big goal that everybody would be like, but that's not possible. Right? Put putting a man on the moon. It's not possible, right? Or something like that carving Mount Rushmore, it's I get these goals are so big that anybody who hears it not just a few people, but 99% of the population when they hear it, they're like, yeah, that's not gonna happen. There's no way. That's not possible yet, you know, and we're getting into with AI you mentioned earlier with AI, that's what's possible. Is it

expensive, exploding at an exponential rate for sure?

growing fast, so I'm curious, Nathan, if we wanted to get more of your content and where are your books where you're, I mean, do you have your podcast, social media, where's the best place to get active with you? I imagine you serve and serve people all over the world. where's the best place to connect with you and get more of your insight on This season how to silence the fear or naysayers in our own lives.

So, first things coming out on January 20th, 2020, book number one of my self-help trilogy, the art of fulfillment is coming out. That's called start working, start living. That's going to happen on the 20th of January will behave a little announcement on having a bit of a refurb of my current stuff. At the moment, I have just been to a two-day seminar and I got to speak or got to hear Tom bill, you speak. And I've seen some stuff around my work and how I can impact more people. So the best place to get ahold of me right now is on LinkedIn. While I'm doing a complete restructure of my thinking and how I can get to more people and create more impact and change more people's thinking so they can become more incredible than yesterday. Find me on LinkedIn, Nathan Simmons, leadership coach or find me there. Handsome chap. Nice beard. Send me a direct message. I would love to connect with you. Yeah, it's all about helping leaders out there. Double their income will half their workweek so they can build quality time and spend it with quality people. That's what I'm all about now.

Yeah, that needs me to say I mean this whole thing is exactly. Again every guest I have on our have had on for the last few months. I feel like I've been able to handpick them a lot more the first year of my podcast loved all my guests there. But it was a lot more focused on what I was doing because I was doing using my podcast as a way to build content for books that I'm writing. And so it was more me focused. And over the last five, four or five months, I've shifted and said how can I get more people on here? They're going to further the conversation, fuel your legacy and challenge me as an Individual and challenge me and help me grow. And I'm learning from rather than people that I think I'm on the same level with how am I getting more people that are challenging the way I view the world and think, and that has come to pass. So for this next section here, and legacy on rapid-fire, and I'm sure you've heard this in some of the previous episodes. And so just five questions, we're going to go through them as fast as possible. Are you ready? Bring up? Awesome, what do you believe is holding you back from reaching the next level of your legacy?

Me.

So now that I've got clarity on Maria, and what I'm bringing to the world, all I need now to do is implement and take the information and put it in place.

Okay, awesome. What do you think the hardest thing they've ever accomplished,

has been

saying to myself that I'm going to start my own business and following through on that.

Fantastic and what's your greatest success to this point in your life?

To this point in my life,

Crikey, I've got numerous clients that are doing phenomenal things. One of them has just doubled his salary and got promoted, and it's going to have a huge impact on the American educational system.

That's awesome. Now, I love that. Yeah.

What's another secret that you believe contributes to your success?

Enjoying failure and questioning the living daylights out of it, until I find a valuable lesson that I can then grow from

that skill in the world. According to my, I'm creating a whole journal that that is completely focused on that you should be able to buy it on Amazon. But yeah, it's focused on that. You can also get it on my website, but it's focused on reframing experiences that we have good and bad, and pulling lessons out of them. That's the whole purpose and focus of the is how do we reframe and experience and Paul lesson out of it? So I love that that's a secret of yours. And what are one or two or maybe three books that you think would be fantastic for the fuel your legacy audience to read?

start with why Simon cynics straight up

thinking grow rich. I'm looking furiously around my office right now thinking Grow Rich is a good one. And it's going to be either how to get rich by Felix Dennis, which is phenomenal or stealing fire because that's fundamentally shifted my thinking about how I approach life.

Yes, they are all good books.

I was on a kick for about a year and a half, two years. I read a book a week. Well, it was a lot of reading, listening, I listened to them on Audible, but some weeks it for shorter books. I would do two or three a week and it was a lot of content in so now it's like I don't remember where I picked this up from but it's in a book somewhere. That's really good information.

I've got a disclaimer at the end of my book that says if I'm quoted anything here that is not mine, please let me know. So I can go back and reference the author and the owner accordingly.

That's a good idea. I should throw that in mind.

Because it's, it's a legit thing, like where you just, especially if you're consuming that much content over and over and over and over. And you don't even remember where you started living your life with certain things. You just started living your life that way. And it just seems as though your voices told it to yourself so often that you believe it's you saying it to even though it's from somebody else. Exactly. So and I would say that's where you want to get to because there's those good voices in your head and the bad voice in your head. That and I think they're both I say good and bad. They're both there to serve a purpose. And, and then you want to be programming what voices in your head that you listen to the most.

Exactly, and if you spend time in the company of the Even fictitious characters like I've got Gandalf on my bookshelf, I've got Bruce Lee on my bookshelf. And if you spend time having conversations with those people even made up imaginary conversations, like in the mastermind principle of thinking Grow Rich, you will start to kind of have more thoughts like that individual, and potentially what you're writing will come out in a certain kind of esque way of that individual. So it's more likely you're going to repeat stuff that they do show or bring up new ideas in that sort of vein and it will sound similar to

Yeah, absolutely. And I feel like he should have said that. He didn't say I said it

is Gator speaking? Now. Okay, so here's the here's my favorite part of the whole episode. Right? So it's the last question. And if you listen to the end of this podcast on other podcasts, and you know what I'm going to ask Nathan, and but get ready because if you haven't yet answered this for yourself, please do that. Write it down, share it with your family, share it with people around you and broadcast this to the world. So we're going to pretend that you've died, Nathan, you're dead gone. six generations from now. So this is six. This is your great great great great great grandchildren sitting around a table, you get the opportunity to come back and listen in to what they're saying and what they're saying about your life, your legacy, your contribution to the world. What do you want them to be saying about you and 200 years from now?

This part may depend on how old those generations are when they're reading it. So there's part of me that doesn't almost want them to disbelieve what I'm saying. There's a part of me that wants them to read that book, and say, What is this guy going on? And then there's the other part of me that then wants them to go and live their lives and have those experiences and realize and then go back and go. Now I get it. Now I know what my purpose is. Now I know what the impact is I can have on the world because of going away and got these experiences. I've had some self-doubt I've had some disbelief have gone away and tested it, I've developed and now I'm going to deliver something even more incredible than he did six generations ago. And I'm going to expand his idea and create an even bigger impact on a galactic level, let alone a global level

that has in six generations from now, we could be in a galactic universe

will be starting to be a thing.

Yeah, you never know. It's moving fast. That's awesome. I love that because I think that that's exactly in alignment with who you are. Your goal is to help other people identify their legacy and, and forward that and their purpose and get in touch with that. And that's that is very much mine as well. My input into one sentence is to empower people with financial confidence to create a meaningful legacy for them. Right. So very similar. Mine is maybe just focused slightly more on the financial side of how to fuel the legacy that they want to build. And but I love Love that answer for you. And I'm just so grateful for you taking the time to hop on this, this podcast and share your knowledge, share your skillset and share you with us because we're going to be able to go and go connect with you on LinkedIn, and hopefully other social media platforms as well anywhere that's possible by his book. I'm excited to read his book and see what it is that I can be doing better for myself at

home. Excellent. Thank you, Samuel, so very much for space. I appreciate it.

No problem.

We'll catch you guys next time on fuel your ladies.

Thanks for joining us. If what you heard today resonates with you please like comment and share on social media tag me and if you do give me a shout out I'll give you a shout out on the next episode. Thanks to all those who've left a review. It helps spread the message of what it takes to build a legacy At last, and we'll catch you next time on fuel your legacy.

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