Samuel shares the legacy that he is building and where he got his identity.
Welcome back to the fuel your legacy podcast each week, we expose the faulty foundational mindsets of the past and rebuild a newer, stronger foundation essential in creating your meaningful legacy. We've got a lot of work to do. So let's get started. As much as you like this podcast, I'm certain that you're going to love the book that I just released on Amazon, fuel your legacy, the nine pillars to build a meaningful legacy. I wrote this to share with you the experiences that I had while I was identifying my identity, how I began to create my meaningful legacy and how you can create yours. You're going to find this book on kindle amazon and as always on my website, Samknickerbocker.com.
I got a question for you. I'd love to hear
go for so I was in one of your podcasts and it's you can only book the nine pillars of actually building meaningful legacy. Okay, so this is a book but you said something in that podcast about you were struggling with your identity.
True talk to me about about struggling with my dad. Yeah, yeah. So where was the words?
Okay, so I love this one turned on you. So my identity I so I had she had to go back to who my identity what what my identity is now is very similar to what it always has been from before so zero to four years old. I peg that for I don't actually know what age I was. But I was in between four and six. I'm fairly common. I was in between four and six, but seven to 11 kids I didn't really know or honestly I don't remember ever. Anybody feeling. I don't remember feeling love or attention or even real, beyond like bossing me around recognition that I was alive. That sounds terrible. And I'm not condemning anybody. That was my perception of what was going on. Okay, but I have an identity. I do remember not feeling valued and So my identity struggled. And then I went to my grandpa's house, we were taking a trip to the dump. We're driving home with little Ford Ranger pickup red Ford Ranger pickup windows down radio on our driving home. It's just him and I. And he reached over turns on the radio, puts his hand on my knee and says, Sam, you have a voice that's very pleasant to listen to. If you could be a leader one day, maybe even on the radio. And for whatever reason, I again, I don't know how old I was, but for whatever reason, internally, like there's a part of me that feels like I internally knew what it meant to have a radio voice and I was like, I'm better looking than that. I kind of took offense to it initially. Because I was like, what, but also, that was the first time I felt somebody loved me cared about me had recognized a gift inside of me. And so my whole life
that's Since in my whole life but growing up, I had this identity of a leader that I was a leader and that people have a commanding voice and that people are gonna listen to me. So to produce one degree or another, I developed my voice into that presence. Along the way, though, it kind of got lost because I thought that I was protecting my family. When I had taken my mom, she was a stand pusher in the house, and I became the enforcer in the house. And so in my mind, I was protecting my family from greater abuse. And in their mind, I had become the abuser. And they were just describing me as they were as my mom. And so my identity wasn't really in question there was what came out was that how other people viewed me and my identity were a misalignment. And that's huge because so you can't see this on screen. But I have a viewer to draw this out. I'll explain to you I have a building that I now coach people on, and that is the bottom level is your legacy to answer this question, how do I want to be remembered into it? Two years from now, I want to be remembered as a leader, I want to be remembered as somebody who changes lives for the better helps them overcome anxiety, depression, suicide, domestic violence, have the confidence to get out of that. And second is your core values. So you have your, your legacy, how you want to be remembered, then you have your core values, and you could switch those around if you want to. I just think legacy for my structure makes sense. So you have your, like, I'm building like a Greek building here, just so you know. So you can draw it out, right? So I have legacy core values. My core values are candor, integrity, and gratitude. Be just insanely happy about whatever's going on in life and accept it as it is love it. And share love integrity, do what you say you're going to do when you say you're gonna do it. The reality about integrity. I'm going to quote Lewis house here and I love his concept here. It's like a straight line integrity is a straight line. Nobody has perfect integrity. Okay, nobody has perfect integrity. My objective is to cross that line as as often as possible. Okay. don't profess to be perfect or have perfect integrity. My goal is to cross the line of integrity as well as frequently as possible. Okay? So you're not so far off of one side. Yeah. So I'm not like way out of integrity somewhere. Like if I, if I screw up, let's get back online. And let's admit that I screwed up, you know. But the fact is, while I screwed up, I was out of integrity. That's one of my core values. So. So that's my commitment there with integrity and candor, I just say whatever the heck I want to say. And if you don't like it, I'm confident as coming from a position of love. Now, if you feel differently, that's unfortunate. Let's talk about it. I'm never here to hurt you. But I'm definitely here to speak and say, say my perspective. I'm not even saying my perspectives, right. But if I feel like somebody's limiting what I can say, then I don't feel in integrity. So then this is in misalignment. So I'm building my legacy of how I want to be remembered. I have my core values, then I have fulfillment, what really fulfills Sam and that's an important thing. I actually just came out with another journal talking about It's called the fulfillment journal. And in it you write down what are your three main objectives for the day? What are you grateful for? And then how are you going to experience fulfillment today? And who are you going to serve? And then at the end of the day, you journal about how did you experience fulfillment that day, maybe it was different than you thought. But again, my goal is to help you become a creator. So I hope they're my goal is that they're similar. And then the next section is in the future. How will you experience more fulfillment? Right, so you're projecting more positivity in the future, not saying that your fulfillment that you experienced was not good enough. It was it was fantastic, and how can I make it better in the future? So you're again reprogramming or hypnotizing, whatever you want to say, you're doing that to yourself? So that's fulfillment. fulfillment is what everybody's searching for happiness, fulfillment, peace, you can use a lot of different words to describe it. For me, it's fulfillment. Okay. And then you have it. That's the three layers. Then you have your pillars of your thing, your pillars, our faith. fitness, finance and fun in each of those areas, how do you experience fulfillment? And how are you actively engaged in those and, and these are building up my identity. So this, this is going somewhere. So, each of these pillars in that fulfillment journal, I have you write for 10 minutes, don't take your pen off the page. I mean, not saying you have to use cursor, you can take around the page, but write for 10 minutes on each of those sections, what fulfills you that month? And then scheduling how you're going to experience fulfillment on a daily basis. But are those that are those goals? And those ways? Who fulfilment are they in alignment with your how you want to be remembered? Are they in alignment with your core values? Are they in alignment with how you experience fulfillment? If they are great? If they're not, then you're out of alignment with your identity, in my perspective, my coaching, okay, and I want you to be living in more of your truth in alignment. Now, the question is, how do you test if you're in alignment?
Based on a feeling I guess, right You think but no. Because what's the again, the in the chi as I'm the ultimate goal is fulfillment, okay? But also there's a legacy. So in a chasm, you start in one place, you go up to the ultimate important thing, and then you go back out to a similar thing in the chasms. So like in Christ, you have Christ repentance, or you have faith, repentance, baptism, or whatever, and then Christ and then what does baptism create in your life? What changes state change does it create? What does repentance do? And why should we have faith? Right? So it kind of goes out back into the same principle? Well, the way you test if your leg if you're actually living your legacy is if people see that you're actually living your legacy. Right? If there's there has to be some level of accountability. somebody's calling you calling you and saying, Hey, what did you accomplish? Where are you going? Are you getting closer to your legacy or not? Right? And so the the capstone of this building is what are my results? How our lives actually being changed, and how am I being perceived in the world? Because you can't live your life one way and say, Oh, my legacy is going to be this charitable person, but you're living a life of non charity, you're living a life of selfishness. But when you die, you hope people remember this selfless charitable person. It's out of alignment. So, so this is my building that I built for people and help them walk through the steps to build for me, I had to do that with first identifying how do I want to be remembered? And second, who am I? What am my core values more than anything? To do that really effectively, you have to let go of your ego, you have to let go of judgment. You have to let go of everybody, your wife, your kids or like, family is not the most important thing to you. But family's important to me. I'm not saying family's not important. But candor, integrity, and gratitude, way more important than family to me. They don't have to be that to you. But like, for me, you have to be willing to say no judgement. I don't care. Like if you think that the fact that God's not more important to me than me being able to be honest with myself. Like, I don't care what you think about that, I have to be able to get to that point where I can be honest with what my core values are. And I have to be honest with what actually fulfills me, and not somebody else's perspective, what should fulfill me if you're fulfilled by video games, and your wife thinks that you should be fulfilled by spending time with her. If you put spending time with her fulfills you, but inside you know, it doesn't fulfill you, then you're being a liar. You're you can't be in alignment in that situation. So for me, being brutally honest with myself in those scenarios was important. So let me get back to the story. I'm sitting there with my brother, while he's wrestled me down to the ground at this point, because he heard me controlling one last sentence What happened? So he came in wrestle me down and said, after he, after I stopped fighting, and he had helped me down there for long enough. And he said, Look, Sam, this is how people feel. This is their experience of you. They feel this emotionally and energetically restricted when you walk into a room. While he's holding me to where I can't physically move now, so what? I'm your Savior, I'm helping you I'm doing right because my identity was so one of love and service, and now it's being rejected. The heck this isn't right. And that, but as I started to see the effects of what I had done, I completely changed like that one experience completely changed the way I operate in the world entirely. What's interesting is, even though it took me I mean, years of kind of oppressive leadership in my house, I would say within months of every time I asked somebody to do something, I said, Look, I want one. Well, a few things. One, I'm not going to ask you to do something that doesn't need to be done. Fair enough. I know I'd be out right? Because nobody believes you right after you're an oppressor. Nobody believes you're a nice guy. Just FYI, change doesn't happen overnight might happen inside of you, but other people actually it used to change. So so one moment ask you to do something that doesn't need to be done. If I asked you to do it, you can say, No, I won't beat you up, I won't force you to do it. If you say no to me, okay, I need you to know that they didn't believe me the first little bit, but after they had some experience, then they believe me. And and three, if if I asked you to do something, and you say, No, I will get up immediately and go do it. Because I'm only asking you to do it because it needs to be done.
So again, I had to realign with myself with leadership with understanding what I like, what role I was playing, and getting back to my identity as a leader. And when I did that, it took a few months, but then, rather than me having to ask people to do stuff all the time, they would volunteer. They would say, I can do this right, because it changed the motivation from fear to love. And I believe identity is love. I don't care who you are. I don't generally say this, but because I think it's important for you to identify Find yourself. But I believe that everybody's identity is love. God is love. Okay, she believed the scriptures taken literally for a second. God is love. We are God, we are all in one, he's in us, we're in Him, we are all love, the very act of anything short of love towards yourself or someone else is a breaching of that, that identity and you no longer get to live in love. And so when I change that, I just love people and there was a lot more compassionate, more understanding. So that's why I say my identity is the fuel your legacy nine pillars to build a meaningful legacy. It goes through the nine pillars, which one is like haters, your supporters, your team, your country, your faith, all these different nine them, I forget what they are, but they're just journaling aspect. So there's some anecdotal information there but then the journaling aspect These three questions. Who are those people? Who are your haters? Who are the people who love you? Who are the people who support you? Who are your team? Right? Who are they? How will their life be better? If you live in alignment to your true self? that's crucial, especially when you're talking about your haters, because they're like, why would I want to benefit them? Because they are part of you. If you are all love, you ship you helping them heal themselves is ultimately you helping heal you. If you're part of love, that's my perspective. And so, how is your life gonna be better? And then what can you do today to move towards that ideal? It's something you do multiple times, not like you do it once and you're done. It's a constant meditation of how, how will my actions affect other people for the better if I choose to live in alignment with myself? Rather than focusing on all the things they're going to say that about me? How is this going to benefit them if I can get Give them the confidence. Hey, look, I know Sam, I know he's not perfect. I know, he sometimes doubts himself, but he went and accomplished this great thing. I probably could do it too, right? That's the best case scenario of you being a leader and sticking your head up, and doing something that's unpopular, that people aren't going to like or whatever. And they're gonna like it because they don't believe that they can do it. And the more that they don't believe that they can do it, the more reason you have to go show them that they can, from a place of love and compassion, to help them believe in themselves, not to prove them wrong, not to rub it in their note their face or whatever. It's the motivation of, if I can do this, then you can do it. So even though you don't believe in me, that's fine. I'm going to go show you that as possible so that you can believe in yourself a little bit more. Wow. And all that started because when you were four to six, somebody put their hand on your knee and said you can become you have a good voice, you're gonna voice in your ear later and I was committed. I'm gonna be a public speaker. I'm gonna be a public speaker. And along the way, guess what people told me No, that's terrible. Like, you're always gonna be on the road, your family won't be with you. They took all the things in the book. And so that's why I switched from being a public speaker to a one on one speaker and psychology. And then I was like, I don't really like this as much. I want to be a public speaker, because there's a little bit thing about Sam. He does have an ego, and he does like being recognized. And he does love hearing people share his name. It's great. And I'm not ashamed of it. You know, like, I wish that you could experience the same joy. I feel up on the stage, right? So I'm not ashamed of who I am. There's an aspect of me that likes that. And so, and I'm okay with it. It's not this. I don't think it's purely a self aggrandizing thing. But it sure is awesome. And until you do it, you won't ever know how awesome it is. So don't knock it till you try it.
I've been on stage in like six weeks now. And it's like,
I know it's weird. Yeah, I gotta entertain somebody. Yeah. So says that's a great question. Thanks for asking. I don't know that I could share it. Share that on
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